March 16, 2011

Colossal dud

New "Red Dawn" remake ditches references to Red China; North Korea will now be the invading force.

When MGM decided a few years ago to remake "Red Dawn," a 1984 Cold War drama about a bunch of American farm kids repelling a Soviet invasion, the studio needed new villains, since the U.S.S.R. had collapsed in 1991. The producers substituted Chinese aggressors for the Soviets and filmed the movie in Michigan in 2009.

But potential distributors are nervous about becoming associated with the finished film, concerned that doing so would harm their ability to do business with the rising Asian superpower, one of the fastest-growing and potentially most lucrative markets for American movies, not to mention other U.S. products.

As a result, the filmmakers now are digitally erasing Chinese flags and military symbols from "Red Dawn," substituting dialogue and altering the film to depict much of the invading force as being from North Korea, an isolated country where American media companies have no dollars at stake.

Daniel Foster remarks:

And who are the new invaders? North Korea. That’s right, the starving-to-death, massively brainwashed “Hermit Kingdom.” I imagine at this very moment, Hollywood script doctors are working on a revised first act in which Kim Jong Il decides it’s a good idea to let hundreds of thousands of his captive countrymen travel to America.

The North Korean horde — lacking a blue-water navy and any airborne capacity to speak of — would then, I imagine, travel through Russia and cross the Bering Strait into Alaska, living off . . . er, the land or something . . . before eventually making its way to Michigan, where the film is set. Or wait, even better! The Norks sneak across the 38th parallel, through the DMZ, and steal most or all of the U.S. Pacific Fleet while the U.S. Navy is on shore leave!

Oh brother. Count me out -- and how -- for this one.

If you wanna make the Norks out to be the bad guys, how 'bout doing up a film version of One Second After, the scary-as-sh** novel where the NKs hide several EMP missiles on commercial ships and launch them over the US -- where they detonate and wreak massive havoc on the country, effectively turning us back to the Bronze Age. It's certainly magnitudes more feasible than them physically invading us, for cripe's sake!

Posted by Hube at March 16, 2011 05:00 PM | TrackBack

Comments  (We reserve the right to edit and/or delete any comments. If your comment is blocked or won't post, e-mail us and we'll post it for you.)

Was there ever a question as to whether this was going to be a horrible movie?

Posted by: Jeff the Baptist at March 16, 2011 05:13 PM

Yeah, I was never optimistic. Hollywood doesn't have what it takes to make a real "Red Dawn" any more.

Posted by: Paul Smith Jr at March 16, 2011 06:26 PM

Exactly so, Huve -- One Second After would be a phenomenal film.

Posted by: Rhymes With Right at March 17, 2011 12:02 AM

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