September 19, 2009

Top 10 celebrity conspiracy theory nutjobs

The Shark Guys lay it all out:

10) Spencer and Heidi Pratt:

(Excerpts from an appearance on the radio show of Alex Jones , himself a conspiracy theorist and the man behind “The Obama Deception” ): “We’ve been nonstop researching the Internet … for information for at least a month all day every day,” said Heidi. Spencer added: “From your [Jones'] research, it [9/11] 100 percent is [an inside job] … “I want to throw up.”

Hube says: The Pratts, living examples of why modern television is the cultural downfall of civilization (they're the stars of "The Hills"), are regular targets of Joel McHale on "The Soup" (the one show that recognizes how awful modern TV truly is). They probably have a combined IQ in the two-digit range. As for Jones, the dude is just a nut, period. One of his "followers" hassled me for a time years ago when I had the old "Cube" blog. Ultimately, he had to resort to making light of the fact that I collected comics.

9) Woody Harrelson:

“I am reading a book now called The New Pearl Harbor by David Ray Griffin. I’ve been stuck in the position of ignoring my gut — knowing things don’t stack up. Even though our government obviously took advantage of 9/11 by making it their 'Reichstag,' I told myself, 'Surely they weren’t involved.' After reading this book I can’t doubt that our government was at least complicit in allowing 9/11 to happen.”

Hube says: The Shark Guys provide a fact I never knew -- Harrelson's father was widely thought by conspiracy buffs to be involved in the murder of JFK! He actually bragged about it when it came to light, too.

8) Mos Def:

“I don’t believe it was bin Laden today. I don’t believe it was never him … I’m sorry, I’m from the projects, I know danger. I don’t feel no danger from that shit… Highly-educated people in all areas of science have spoken on the fishiness around the whole 9/11 theory.”

Hube says: Didn't he contradict himself with that "I don't believe it was never him" double negative? And WTF does being from the projects have to do with common sense? Def sounds like NPR's Frank James.

7) Willie Nelson:

“I saw one fall, and it was just so symmetrical, I said wait a minute. I just saw that last week at the casino in Las Vegas, and you see these implosions all the time. And the next one fell, and I said, hell, there’s another one – and they’re trying to tell me that an airplane did it, and I can’t go along with that … What does it take for us to realize we’re having the wool pulled over our eyes one more time?”

Hube says: I have a soft spot for poor Willie, having had to deal with the IRS for a decent portion of his life. And I can forgive his wretched duet with Julio Iglesias, "To All The Girls I've Loved Before." But seeing a demolition in Vegas doesn't mean something sinister happened in NYC on 9/11.

6) Tom DeLonge of Blink 182:

“We do know that the buildings came down in a fashion extremely similar to a controlled demolition of a building – we do know that expertise that is needed to fly those gigantic planes into that exact location could never have been achieved by someone that just learned how to fly a small plane.”

Hube says: I'm not sure which is worse -- Blink 182 or 1985's awful film "Turk 182!" starring Timothy Hutton. As Shark notes, "Salon.com in an 'Ask The Pilot' article addressing 9/11 questions, quoted someone who did fly planes for living as saying: … Striking the Pentagon, or navigating along the Hudson River to Manhattan on a cloudless morning, with the sole intention of steering head-on into a building, did not require a mastery of airmanship.” But c'mon -- DeLonge is a musician in a famous band! He has to be heard! Listened to! DeLonge also said Dick Cheney knew about the whole thing. Yeah, right. Just yet another reason to shun modern music.

5) Marion Cotillard:

“We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. Are they burned? There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burnt for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [in NY], in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed.”

Hube says: Sorry, but being unbelievably hot doesn't mean you should act like a total dunderhead. On second thought, maybe it does. Cotillard believes that the US government purposely "blew up" the towers in NYC because it was cheaper than "re-cabling" them. Of course, this doesn't address why a plane smashed into the Pentagon, and why another was on its way to DC.

4) Jesse Ventura:

“How could those buildings fall at the speed of gravity – if you put a stopwatch on them both of those World Trade Center buildings were on the ground in ten seconds – how can that be? Never before in the annals of history has a fire caused a steel structure building to fall to the ground like these two did.”

Hube says: Shark notes that Jesse moved to Mexico to "escape fascism." Good luck with that, Jess -- I just hope your saved up cash from "Predator" and "The Running Man" is sufficient for living in a country where bribery takes precedent over the law. Talk about fascism!

3) Rosie O'Donnell:

“It is impossible for a building to fall the way it fell without explosives being involved — World Trade Center 7. World Trade 1 and 2 got hit by planes. 7, miraculously, the first time in history, steel was melted by fire. It is physically impossible."

Hube says: O'Donnell's lunacy is legendary, to say the least. To believe that fire cannot melt steel is essentially believing that steel is actually adamantium.

2) Janeane Garofolo:

“9/11 was an inside job!! I have come to this conclusion about that. … I think all Air America phone-in callers should open by saying, ‘9/11 was an inside job. We can all agree on that,' then get on with their specific question or comment. We should re-condition the listening audience to accept the Truth about 9/11 as the gospel.”

Hube says: Garofolo is supposed to be a comedienne; she's never been particularly funny -- unless you count her moronic beliefs as "humor." Garofolo most recently has offered that all the Tea Party protestors are "racist" (surprise there, eh?). Now that's some original material!

1) Charlie Sheen:

“It seems to me like 19 amateurs with box cutters taking over four commercial airliners and hitting 75 percent of their targets, that feels like a conspiracy theory. It raises a lot of questions.”

Hube says: "I think I made a big mistake coming here, grandma." That's what Sheen's character in "Platoon" wrote home at one point. In real life he might wanna write "I think I made a bad career move, acting nutty like this." Sheen recently recorded a video message to President Obama imploring him to [re]investigate Sept. 11, 2001. Yeah, that'll work. One thing to wonder: Maybe Sheen's role in "The Arrival" transformed him into a "believer?"

Perhaps better to consider is what Sheen's character in "Wall Street" thought to himself on his Manhattan apt. balcony: "Who am I?" Answer: A nutjob.

Posted by Hube at September 19, 2009 12:00 PM | TrackBack

Comments  (We reserve the right to edit and/or delete any comments. If your comment is blocked or won't post, e-mail us and we'll post it for you.)

Note the defenders of the cover-up.

Posted by: nader paul kucinich gravel at September 19, 2009 05:25 PM

You have a hat like Sheen?

Posted by: Hube at September 20, 2009 10:09 AM

I have just discovered info that Obama was behind the FT Hood massacre. He planned it from his first day in office...unreal. How about that.??

Damn, you just can't trust these damn presidents.

Posted by: MIKE at September 27, 2010 02:43 AM