July 19, 2008

Yet another rant

Yesterday I went off on rude and irritating movie-goers. Today, I played in a small golf tourney at the Scotland Run course in Jersey. It's the second year I've played in it. It's organized by a friend of a buddy I used to teach with; we get four foursomes (16 guys), and when everyone's done, we split everyone's scores into the best eight, and the worst eight. These scores then go into two hats. A score from each hat is then drawn (the scores have the people's names on 'em) and whichever duo has the lowest total score wins 75% of the money pot (everyone put in $20 at the beginning of the tourney). The next two win the other 25%. It's a fun way for even lousy players to get some cash.

At any rate, my buddy and I were teamed with two dudes we didn't know. My buddy and I are quite ... "traditional" golfers -- we count each and every shot, and count whatever penalties are required when necessary. In essence, we don't cheat. The duo we played with were the complete antithesis of us. Normally, I (we) wouldn't care a whit, but when the guys (or anyone, for that matter) start bragging about how they're doing -- when all the while they've been shaving strokes left and right -- and money is involved, well, that's when it becomes ridiculously annoying and irritating.

One guy was so bad that his cheating became irrelevant. (He finished with a 122. Supposedly.) But at the 18th hole, the other guy says (while lining up his putt) "I make this and I break 90!" My pal and I glance at one another, smile, and just shake our heads. He missed the putt, but there I was, finishing with a legitimate 92, supposedly being beaten by this guy with a "90" ... and whose score might be the difference between winning some cash or not.

And I knew precisely where this guy had shaved two strokes. (He had obviously done so on other holes, too, but this one stuck out). It was a par 3, and he chunked his first shot into the pond. He reloads on the tee, and does the exact same thing. This means he is now hitting shot number five with the appropriate penalties incurred. He hit up to where I laid one (just short of the green), again his fifth shot. I chipped up and then two-putted, carding a four. He did the same, which means he legitimately carded an eight. However, when we called out scores, he had said "triple bogey" which was a six. There's the two strokes right there by which this dude supposedly bested me.

Give me a break.

Some advice if you golf: If you shave strokes, just tell the folks you may be playing with that "you're keeping your own score." Or, when/if you announce your score, say something like, "Well, I took a few liberties (known in golf lingo as "mulligans") out there ..." That way, people won't think you're an unsportsman-like a-hole. Cool?

No, that's not the guy above, just an example video for the previous paragraph. And be sure to check out what has to be the world's worst golf swing.

UPDATE: I just heard from my buddy. (Since I didn't stay for the festivities afterwards, he had to fill me in.) He ended up with the best score overall (85) and he (and a dude from the worst 8 scores) won the pot 'o cash. Good for him. He informed me that my 92 was the fourth best overall score -- third best if you discount that one jackass's blatant cheating. Last year, I had finished in 8th place.

Thankfully, neither of the two numbnuts in our foursome won any $$. Oh, and my bud told me that after he had left, the dude with the 122 told those remaining at the post-golf party that my buddy had cheated on at least two holes!! Are you freakin' kidding me? WTF???

Posted by Hube at July 19, 2008 06:14 PM | TrackBack

Comments  (We reserve the right to edit and/or delete any comments. If your comment is blocked or won't post, e-mail us and we'll post it for you.)

My standard first tee line: "Now why would I want to ruin a beautiful day like this by keeping score?"

p.s., 10 handicap when I took the game seriously.

Posted by: Roy Lofquist at July 20, 2008 02:01 PM

Man, I wish I could get down to a 10, Roy. I'm currently about a 17, and this summer I've played my best (and most consistent) golf ever.

BTW, my buddy shot an 85, which is actually a bit high for him.

Posted by: Hube at July 20, 2008 05:57 PM

Triple mulligan? This guy must play with Bill Clinton.

Posted by: G Rex at July 21, 2008 04:26 PM