September 03, 2007

That "cheesy" McDonald's suit

Remember this ridiculous lawsuit? It gets better:

"By my count, he took at least five independent steps to make sure that thing had no cheese on it," [Attorney Tim] Houston told the paper. "And it did and almost cost him his life."

I am REALLY curious as to just what those "five independent steps" were. Certainly the most OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT ONE wasn't utilized: Looking at the damned food in the first place. Here's what I think those "five independent steps" were:

1. Wished the burgers didn't have cheese on them.
2. REALLY wished the burgers didn't have cheese on them.
3. Asked mom if she thought burgers might have cheese on them.
4. Asked the burgers if they had cheese on them.
5. Flipped a coin on whether the burgers had cheese on them.

Gad, 'ya gotta love lawyers!

Then there's this:

According to an interview with the Charleston Daily Mail, Houston said Jackson, his mother and his friend got their food, then drove to Clarksburg to watch a movie in a darkened room. Houston claims Jackson pulled out his burger and bit into it, thinking there would be no cheese on it.

You know, that "pitch black darkened room." And still not checking the burgers for cheese! And was that "room" an actual theatre? What theatre lets you bring in your own food?

"While we, the plaintiffs against McDonald's, are flattered that the public had found Mr. Jackson's story interesting, we feel it is important to emphasize that all the facts in this case have not yet been brought to light," Houston said Thursday in the statement.

Yeah, like the FACT that you and your client are a bunch of jackasses, for one.

Posted by Hube at September 3, 2007 12:26 PM | TrackBack

Comments  (We reserve the right to edit and/or delete any comments. If your comment is blocked or won't post, e-mail us and we'll post it for you.)

Hey, that guy from Geno's Steaks can use this as a defense for having his "English only" sign in his restaurant: they might mistakenly serve a "Whiz with" to a non-English speaker with a severe cheese allergy.

Posted by: G Rex at September 5, 2007 04:50 PM