May 24, 2006

101 Ways to Experience Diversity

Oh to be a prof at Elizabethtown College. Last fall, profs received a "101 Ways to Experience Diversity" list in their mailboxes. The list supposedly originated from Minnesota State University, although a representative of that school cannot verify it. Included in the 101 items are "holding hands with someone of the same sex in public" and "telling someone you are a homosexual." Amazingly, Elizabethtown rejected the list.

Here are some more of the "interesting" items of that 101:

  • Demand a diverse faculty. (Isn't David Horowitz doing just that?)
  • Work in the fields with migrant workers. (As opposed to working with them -- what we're led to believe are Hispanics -- in some OTHER context. Hear hear for stereotypes!)
  • Be a part of the solution. (Of WHAT? One person's "solution" is another's problem.)
  • Dream. (This is a physiological mandate. Oh, you mean FIGURATIVELY? See above.)
  • Go to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting. (Terrific. Now "diverse" includes alcoholics.)
  • Go to a “Gay Bar” or similar establishment. (Indeed! To hell with trying to pick up chicks -- I've had it with being shot down! Here I come .... GUYS!)
  • Move to an area that is poor. (Yeah -- I'll sell my HOUSE in a comfortable middle-class neighborhood just to ... experience diversity.)
  • Shop in a predominately Spanish speaking area. (Just don't ask for assistance of any kind, especially since it's highly likely you won't be able to get any. "Hola, uh, poder help me ...?")
  • Enroll in a historically black college or university. (Hey -- ever wonder that HBCs are NOT diverse? How's that for irony?)
  • Take a Women Studies course. (Only if I want to lose my sanity.)
  • Watch a Spike Lee movie. (WTF???)
  • Let down your defenses. (Again, WTF??)
  • Use reverse pronouns. (Sorry, I have this knack for wanting to be grammatically correct.)
  • Vote. (How in the hell does this make you experience diversity??)
  • Talk to a homeless person. (Only if you guarantee they aren't drunk or on drugs, fair enough?)
  • Fast on the Jewish Holidays. (Why? I'm not Jewish and I like to eat. How 'bout if I just read about Yom Kippur and the like?)
  • Join the Peace Corps. (This is like "Moving to a poor area." Isn't joining the Peace Corps a little drastic just to "experience" diversity??)
  • Learn about the “model minority” myth. (Since there's ample evidence it ain't really a myth, maybe those calling it a "myth" aren't quite as "diverse" as they want YOU to become!)
  • Join a Diversity Theatre Troupe. (What if I can't act?)
  • Eat at an ethnic restaurant. (If I ask about Taco Bell or KFC, is that "culturally insensitive"?)

And, lastly, this one unintentionally sums this hilarity up perfectly (and it's an actual idea -- just scroll towards the end of the list):

  • Get a job.


(h/t: Phi Beta Cons.)

Posted by Hube at May 24, 2006 09:22 PM | TrackBack

Comments  (We reserve the right to edit and/or delete any comments. If your comment is blocked or won't post, e-mail us and we'll post it for you.)

Wow. Those people who like diversity are just going to have to deal with me the way I am.

Posted by: Ryan S. at May 25, 2006 05:28 PM

yeah, whack.

Posted by: Nancy Willing at May 25, 2006 09:32 PM

Post a comment

Remember personal info?